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HOW TO FALL is now available in print and ebook
*a HOLT Medallion finalist*
Julia tossed and turned on the narrow bed and tried to make her brain—and her body—stop sparking like fire crackers on the Fourth of July. She lay on her back. She lay on her side. She settled onto her stomach only to find herself rolling over again. She hoped that to anyone else awake, her sighs sounded like someone settling into sleep and not like someone so damn horny she couldn’t lie still.
She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but she kept drifting back to that kiss. Blake’s warm hands, the press of his lips, the way she’d wanted that taste of him more than she’d ever wanted anyone, anything, before. She’d actually dared to slide her hands over his arm, feeling his muscles through his shirt, remembering how delicious he’d looked soaking wet from the pool.
Everything had been going so well. So how the hell had she wound up lying alone in the dark in a hostel room full of lightly snoring women, frustrated beyond all belief?
Stupid brain, she cursed herself again. Always popping up at the worst possible moments to lecture her on what not to do.
Part of her had longed to stop the car, stop time, and erase everyone around them so that it was just her and Blake and that kiss, with no past or future to stand in their way.
But another part knew she never could.
That was the Julia who yawned and told everyone she was beat from her long bus ride. The Julia who could barely bring herself to make eye contact with Blake when she said goodnight. The Julia who knew the smart thing was to leave.
It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Sensible. Prudent. The only way to keep herself safe.
It was fine to share a little kiss, but then she had to be responsible and go to sleep.
Alone.
Except it wasn’t just a little kiss. It was a great kiss. An excellent kiss. A soul-shattering, spine-tingling, forget-your-own-name kind of kiss. The memory of his skin alone was enough to make her clasp her thighs together under the thin sheets, trying not to make any noise.
She’d thought the right thing to do was to back away. Stay strong and in control of herself.
But now, in the cover of darkness, alone with her thoughts, smart, sensible ideas looked different than they had in the light. Her whole body was on fire, unable to stop replaying the moment when he slid toward her in the backseat of the car and her heartbeat raced into overdrive. His eyes had searched hers in the darkness and even before he leaned in to the kiss, she’d found herself lifting her lips to his. She wanted it, whether it was a good idea or not.
And now she was kicking herself for letting him go.
She pressed the light on her travel alarm, eyeing it under the sheets so it wouldn’t disturb anyone else in the room. When the party petered out and the other assortment of hostel guests returned from their evenings, Julia had stayed curled with her back to the room, eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. She didn’t know whether the others knew anything about her and Blake, but she didn’t want to face any questions about what they’d done—and why it hadn’t continued.
Now it was well after midnight and instead of congratulating herself for making the right decision—“the Julia decision,” as her best friend Liz would say—all she could think about was the feel of his body pressing against hers in the cab.
She’d never be able to put herself back in that car and make a different choice. She’d always be stuck wondering, “What if?”
She bit down on her lip to keep from whimpering out loud. There was no way she was falling asleep. Quietly, she slipped out of bed.
If anyone woke up from the creak of the door opening or her flip-flops padding down the hall, she’d look like she was going to the bathroom. Like any normal, sane person might do in the middle of the night when they definitely weren’t aching for someone’s touch.
But instead of continuing down the hall, she grabbed her bikini from where it was hanging on the line and quickly put it on. She needed to cool down, distract herself, work off this steam so she could finally get some sleep.
She tiptoed out of the hostel, guided by the blue glow of the pool and the halo of garden lights. Doing something was infinitely better than lying in bed driving herself crazy. She just needed to take her mind off—
She stopped in her tracks.
She wasn’t the only one who hadn’t been tempted by the hostel beds that night. There was someone else swimming in the pool. Someone with cobalt blue shorts, a strong back, and sun-lightened hair.
Her stomach nearly flopped out of her body, all the electricity she’d been trying to hold back zinging straight to her chest.
She thought about sneaking back inside and just, she didn’t know, sitting up all night in some corner in the hostel where she’d never be found. But it was too late—he had come up for air and seen her standing there.
And in the instant when his eyes met hers, Julia knew that no matter what she told herself was the right thing to do, she would never forgive herself if she didn’t get into that pool.
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Still not sure?
Read the first chapter here.